Rise and Shine!

Thank God for cold mornings, in a nicely heated bedroom, with goose feather comfort and fleece throws.
Thank God for your warm body laying beside me, caressing my hair and kissing my cheeks.
Thank God for the birds in the window, the dogs barking in the yard and the smell of fresh coffee brewing from the kitchen.
Thank God for hot coffee in large mugs, with cinnamon and sugar and warm cream.
Thank God for good health and allowing me to open my eyes to embark on this day!cropped-sunrise-on-the-beach-4320x3240_84379.jpg

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I wrote this one for you :-)

I have been talking about love, thinking about love a lot, lately. I am currently watching Stranger Things on Netflix; very good, by the way. Anyway, takes place in the early 80s, teenage couple starts flirting, long story short, fast forward to season 2, and they are full on boyfriend/girlfriend, we’ve been through some things together, our families are close and we love each other. They’re at a party, she gets drunk, starts talking out her ass, “this is all bullshit!” She says with slurred lips. His face turned to sorrow; “you don’t love me?” She didn’t say yes, she didn’t say no, “bullshit!” was all she said. He was pissed and left the room. I felt so bad for them both. I related to both characters and I found myself feeling more upset for him, than for her. I’m not too far into the season, so I cannot speak fully for him, but what I can see so far, he’s a good guy, trying to do better for his lady whom he loves. I’m not mad at that. That brings me to my personal love story…

I am currently dating a man whom I have grown very fond of, in fact, grew very fond of rapidly. Although we are in different places in our lives, with our careers and personal growth, he found the time to open his heart and let me in. Therefore, I followed…here we are and I am thrilled to hear his voice, see his face, smell his hair, even just look at him, every chance I get. I don’t love him for what he has, or what he looks like, but for who he is, for how he makes me feel. On numerous occasions, I may have taken his love for me for granted, and I’ve apologized for that. He forgave me. He forgave me, before I could even forgive myself. He makes me laugh; not simple laughter, but laughter from your gut; contagious laughter. But most importantly, when I introduced him to my type 1 diabetes, he embraced it as if it were his own. He researched it from an understanding point of view and then he learned my specific diabetes. It’s something I will have forever and I get frustrated with it. He reminds me that I’m beautiful, despite having puffy, crying eyes from a low blood sugar attack, and he tells me I will be ok. He assures me he’s there.

When you have someone that you feel completes you, it’s a wonderful feeling. It is good to know you have someone in your corner who understands you, knows what to do when you don’t, or can help you figure it out. It is great to have someone love you despite your flaws, your bad side, your bad days. It is truly an honor to have someone share the exact same wonder and joy about you; learning new things about you, taking an interest in you. If you are ever blessed to find love, hold onto it!

Understanding communication

How many R&B fans remember Xscape’s understanding? One of the better songs from the 90s and it had the realist message; which still remains to this day.

“What I need from you is understanding…how can we communicate, if you don’t hear what I say?” The next line should’ve been something along the lines of, “don’t get upset with me when we communicate…I don’t want to be offensive, but this is how I’m feeling…” I’m not a lyricist, but something like that; indicating the world has not ended because we may not see eye to eye right now.

Communication is a vital part of any relationship; friends, lovers, coworkers, it doesn’t matter. But the communication is hindered or cut short when a recipient is defiant or annoyed when a conversation is held. I am extremely talkative; I’ve been running my anti-social father out of rooms since the 80s, but when I’m in a relationship, I speak to introduce myself; you have to show who you are. I don’t lie; in fact, it probably causes more harm than good, I can’t keep up with lies, therefore, I don’t lie. When I pour my heart out to another; friend or lover, the last thing I want is to upset them with my emotions, fears, joys, sorrows, hurt or concern. I never want my words to be misconstrued and taken out of context. If I’m ever unclear, I need to know; and not in the form of attitude or fight, but concern or confusion is more acceptable.

After countless arguements because one person is misunderstood and the other is misunderstanding what’s being said, a person grows tired of feeling defeated when all they were trying to do was mend a tear in the friendship pattern. What’s really happening in the mind of the person that doesn’t understand? The truth hurts, so perhaps what they’re reacting to is the reality of their imperfection. Lies are hard to uncover, so perhaps so many lies have been told, that now that their back is on the wall, they feel the pressure of everything attempting to surface. Does any of that make it ok to take it out on another? To make them feel minuscule? To make them wonder if they should even still carry conversation with you?

For future reference; keep an open mind, don’t expect anything; be surprised when something surprises you. LOL and most importantly, if someone you love or someone that loves you, needs you to HEAR WHAT THEY ARE SAYING, LISTEN, the intent may not actually be to offend or hurt you!

Keep it Real

There is no such thing as loving half way; you’re either in or out.
There is no such thing as “walk away when it’s hard, and come back when it’s easy; you’re either in or out.
There is no peace in mentally breaking a person down, picking them up, breaking them down again, for your benefit; that’s destructive behavior.
There is no such thing as “don’t tell me.” Do you need to talk? Then tell me…if I can’t handle what you’re saying, I will deal with that on my own.
There is no such thing as I love you and now I will hurt you. Don’t you know love doesn’t hurt, lie, cheat or steal?!?!

There is such a thing as love is not easy.
There is such a thing; life is hard, life will have easy moments
There is peace when you understand everyone is different; everyone reacts and responds different.
There is such thing as hearing too much, and it is ok to ask nicely to be removed from conversation.
Love is real, and when you are loved, by someone that doesn’t love easily; try not to play with that love.

HAPPY MONDAY!

 

A “love-ly” short story

She loves him because he loved her first. He loved her from the first day he spoke to her. She walked in the room, smelling of sweet perfume. Her heels clicked lightly, as if she was gliding. Immediately, he noticed her, and knew he had to meet her. He was nervous, but he took his steps and followed a path that led him standing in front of her face. “Hello; you’re beautiful, and I’m Jack.” He giggled nervously. She laughed, hysterically, but she was amused. She appreciated his gusto, his confidence, and his sincerity. She knew she wanted him by her side.

That was the day she fell in love…

Why does color matter?

Five year old me comes home from school to tell mom about my new best friend. “Her name is Heather and she’s Gewish!” Little me didn’t know the word. Mom corrected me; “she’s Jewish sweetie. She worships differently than we do.” I didn’t mind, she was my bestie! And she was; slumber parties, weekend shopping with our moms, and the haunted hayride every Halloween eve. During the week, she went to Hebrew school and on weekends, I, Sunday school. She came to my house for Christmas and I to hers for Hanukkah. Once her parents divorced, we lost touch, but she was my first white friend.

In my Middle Ages, my parents enrolled me in a Catholic school. I was the only black child in the class, but I didn’t care because that’s who I am. Turns out, no one cared, I fit right in and in 7th grade, my first kiss, yea, you guessed it, a white guy! High school was a different story. I was exposed to more minority school goers and it was AWESOME to relate to others with mamas that “ain’t play dat!!” My friend group grew and it was mixed; not once was I criticized. In fact, it wasn’t until I entered the work world when I realized racism is real and it exists. It goes to show you that racist behavior is taught.

Now, modern day blogger, full time sales consultant, deals with racism day to day and I expect it, but, I think I speak for black people everywhere when I say, “you just don’t understand.” I work in an affluent, predominantly white area, and although friendly, more often than not, I meet the person that is looking at my skin tone, or the fact that I’m a woman. I digress, this is about race. Years back, a customer walks in the showroom and I greet him, happily, in my normal “I’m speaking because I’m human” voice and tone. He was rude and didn’t answer when I asked if he needed  assistance. I knew he was lying, but I smiled, said ok and walked away. The same man, walked over to a man and asked for assistance. My sales manager got mad at me, “don’t you ever walk away from a customer! And he sent me home…The next day, it was a different story when he realized the customer legitimately did not want to work with me because I was a black woman. Apparently, the two shared a joke at my expense that indicated he was racist. (that’s the story my manager told me) There was no doubt in my mind that there was no truth to that conversation.
Would you believe me if I tell you, there are countless times when people walk away from me to speak to the male, white counterpart.

Recently, I greeted a woman in the showroom. I introduced myself, asked if she had any questions or if she needed assistance. She smiled, said no, explained that her vehicle was in for service and she was just wandering. I said ok, no problem, and walked toward my office. Almost immediately, she was in the owners office, asking if anyone else was available to answer questions she had. She refused to look at me after that. When I explained this to a manager and how often things like this happen, he attempted to relate by saying “I agree, they look at me crazy because my last name ends with a vowel.”
Oh sir, how wrong you are to compare the social injustice of being Italian in America to being black in America!
I’m normally not the one to have the racial conversations with. I’m known to be a tad prejudice toward black people, when I so favorably coin Chris Rock by saying, ‘there is a difference between black people and n***as.’ We’ll have that conversation another day. But, I do love black people, despite being involved with a man that identifies 1/2 white. That does not mean that I don’t recognize that inequality toward black people is not alive and present. I’ve dealt more with it in the last 3 years of my adult life than I have in my entire life.
I told my manager, “Just because you have no direct issue with black people, doesn’t mean that another white person isn’t racist.” He agreed with that statement, but proceeded to still say, “I understand how you feel.”

I tell you these stories to let white people understand that we, as black people, feel social injustice on such a different level than you can ever relate to because of the history of our nature as people. You may be totally accepting of black people and I love that you are, but if by chance you are not, just know that it is totally wrong, inhumane and unlike Christian to judge other by the color of their skin.
“Judge not, by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.” To the people like me, that love people, especially if they treat you well, keep loving how you love! The world could use a million more people like you.